Enzo Le Fée's golden ticket and Louie Barry's transfer limbo - inside Sunderland's week

Ahhhhhhh, freak out! Le Bris! Le Fée! Enzo is (finally) here, and he is (presumably) perfect; a shot of adrenaline to the hypothalamus, a sprinkling of stardust on your cornflakes, a statement of intent that Sunderland are planning to sink their teeth deep into the fleshy flank of this scrappiest of Championship promotion tussles.

I’ve been trying to articulate exactly how the news of Le Fée’s looming transfer, breaking like an untamed stallion from a sun-baked corral, made me feel as it veered from “improbable” to “possible” to “start tracking private jets chartered from Rome to Newcastle, lads” over the course of the week. Was it like finding a crumpled, long-forgotten tenner in a jacket you haven’t worn since last winter? Maybe. Was it like waking from a deep sleep in a mild panic, dreading the morning commute, only to remember that it is in fact Sunday and you can allow the bliss of idleness to seep down into your bones? Kind of.

And then it dawned on me, this must be how Charlie Bucket felt when he tore open the foil on that Wonka Bar and saw a golden ticket glinting back at him; the disbelieving elation; the realisation that you are about to witness something a little bit fantastical that you thought you never would; the creeping sense that although it is only supposed to be temporary, if everything falls into place and the likes of Burnley, Leeds United, and Sheffield United all tumble into the proverbial chocolate river like a gluttonous German boy, the keys to the Factory could be there for the claiming.

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With that in mind, you best believe I was jigging around the front room like Grandpa Joe when that scarf pic eventually dropped. Because Oompa Loompa doompa-dee-dée, how have Sunderland signed Enzo Le Fée? And Oompa Loompa doompa-dee-dollocks, now can we stop with this “Speakman Out” b...alderdash? The sporting director has sauntered up to the Italian capital and skipped out of there with a pocketful of gold like a Visigoth in a cashmere blend quarter-zip. I’m old enough and weary enough to remember when the Black Cats were being shamed as penny-pinchers by the likes of Lyle Taylor. We’ve come a long way since those dark days, my friends.

Barry waits in transfer limbo

Elsewhere, Aston Villa winger Louie Barry has more admirers batting their eyelids at him and trying to schmooze their way into his affections than a contestant on The Bachelor. They say you should never trust a man with two first names, but they don’t say anything about parachuting one in for a tilt at the automatic promotion places.

If Sunderland are to lure Barry to the Stadium of Light this month, however, they will have to fend off a baying pack of divisional rivals, including Derby County, whose tactic for signing the 21-year-old appears to smashing through the front window at Villa Park, grabbing what they can, and getting out of there as quickly as humanly possible. It’s a Ram raid. Here all week.

Really though, Barry rocking up on Wearside feels meant to be. Fated, if you will. The emerging Premier League starlet with a profusion of raw talent, a point to prove in the second tier, and a desire to one day establish himself as a top flight mainstay? I have read this script before. Many times. The only way he could be more Sunlun-coded is if it turns out he has a birthmark in the shape of a pink slice on his left buttock.

And if nothing else, ex-Sunderland striker Don Goodman thinks Barry would be a canny piece of business for the Black Cats. Then again, he said the same thing about bringing in former Leeds United midfielder Glen Kamara. And keeping hold of Jobe Bellingham by any means necessary this month, come to think of it. Either he’s right on all counts, he’s an eternal optimist, or he’s started verbalising like a Pokemon during his punditry duties. “What do you think of this, Don?”. “Good, man.” “And this?”. “Good, man.” “And that one?”. “Good, man.”

Young continues to shine

And finally, an earnest word on Matty Young, who has seized his opportunity at Salford City with two gloved hands and gathered it snugly to his chest. The Sunderland starlet has kept seven clean sheets in eight League Two matches this season - no typos - and has been duly rewarded with a dollop of interest from Premier League champions Manchester City.

The teenager and his devotions are not to be swayed, however. In an interview with the Black Cats’ media team this week, he said: "I have been with the club for over a decade. I have supported Sunderland my whole life. The place means the world to me, as a player and as a supporter. I want to play for this club in the future, that is the goal for me. I am working my way up to hopefully get my opportunity.” File that under “things you love to read”.