Would you lower yourself to accept a knighthood?
You need a heart of stone not to laugh at the 'honours' system
We're long accustomed to the "earning" of honours by turning up for work; particularly high-ranking civil servants. But the joke is wearing thin.
The latest list has additional ludicrousness with plaudits for contributions made to Liz Truss's, er, unforgettable stint as Prime Minister.
The practice of honouring cronies, toadies, financial backers, the feared and the conveniently silent goes back millennia.
The difference now is that no one can more than half-heartedly defend handing out medals to the patently undeserving.
The issue of 49-day Liz (24 days fewer than Wayne Rooney managed at Birmingham City) having the audacity to award resignation honours at all is a spiky one.
But apparently it's a "convention" and therefore beyond reproach.
Downing Street has correctly alluded to "dubious" past selections by outgoing Labour PMs too. So that's alright as well then.
Jacob Rees-Mogg let slip a half-truth slip during his unwittingly amusing "defence" of the latest gongs saying: "Honours have long oiled our political system and cost nothing (sic)."
But it was either a joke or a failure of an expensive education when he added: "So it is hard to see what the harm is except it upsets the po-faced puritans." Bit woke, that, Jake.
It's almost as if the higher a person's usefulness to society, the lower the gong.
"Ordinary" people are usually delighted to be recognised. That much is obvious, and such people are usually at pains to share their plaudits.
However, when glorified bag carriers are greased into the House of Lords, we can only ponder the thoughts of David Hastings of Fence Houses who, after 50 years of voluntarily saving lives with the RNLI, was given a mere MBE. Serves him right for doing so much good.
Lackeys being lorded is of more concern than those receiving other honours. Membership of the Lords entails the right to vote on bills - for life.
Knighthoods can be easily removed (Fred Goodwin, Anthony Blunt), whereas it's virtually impossible to de-ermine an ennobled wrong 'un (Jeffrey Archer).
Knights and dames usually profess themselves "humbled" by the honour as indeed they surely are. It must take considerable humility to accept one.
Others wouldn't lower themselves.