RICHARD ORD: Teen son gripes trump moaning royals every time​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

As a committed social commentator for this esteemed organ (or newspaper as you commoners know it), I felt duty-bound to tune in. Unfortunately, teen son trumps TV history every time.

Instead of poring over the bombshell revelations, I was forced to watch Netflix. It was either that, or end up in a volume-raising competition with my son as he, no doubt, would have been moaning throughout the broadcast. Every over-loud sigh and exaggerated yawn to emanate from a bored Isaac, would be met with a ‘shh’ and the TV volume raised another notch.

By the end of the interview the windows would be vibrating and cups bouncing on the table as Meghan’s woes and Isaac’s yawns battle it out at 130 decibels.

To be fair, he did well to stick it out for five minutes before asking: “How long left?”

“It’s on for two hours,” I informed him.

His face was a picture (have you seen Edvard Munch’s The Scream?).

It wasn’t the time to go into a discussion of the importance, or not, of the Royal Family.

That they generate significant amounts of money is certainly not in question. Conservative estimates reveal that Oprah’s Harry and Megan interview raked in $10,000 dollars a second from all adverts shown.

Those figures give you an idea of the cost faced by the UK of losing Harry and Meghan to the Americans, especially when you consider the paltry ad revenue generated by the Queen’s Christmas message. To be fair, the majority of the advertising raised on the Queen’s speech is through product placement. Every Christmas there’s a marked rise in the sale of Pierre Langlois ornate walnut commodes and 18th Century French carpets after Her Majesty’s broadcast.

And, of course, there’s the history stuff. The royals have been involved in loads of it, but I don’t think youngsters are too interested in it these days.

As the words “it’s on for two hours” left my mouth, I knew the battle was lost. Watching Netflix it was.

And by watching Netflix, I do mean watching Netflix. Not a specific movie or TV series on the streaming channel, but scrolling through the menu of programming on offer.

For the next 20minutes the conversation went like this. “Seen it … rubbish … not watching that … seen it … next … seen it … not funny … maybe … no …”

Eventually we settled on a movie which answered a question that has long plagued my mind: Whatever happened to the actor Billy Zane?

For your information, he’s a Nazi officer in the movie Ghosts of War. And, much like how I expect Harry and Meghan’s interview to play out, it doesn’t end well.