Which supermarket's Christmas ad will make Sunderland the queasiest in 2024?

So it isn't here at all really. Nevertheless, the competition has already begun to see which of them can make the public feel the queasiest in 2024; if not initiate outright vomiting.

John Lewis, long regarded as leading the way in emetic commercials, has what journalists simply must call "the most anticipated advert of the year".

They have certainly jiggled a few uvulas with their "windows" campaign, featuring the line: "I know kindness makes me cry. And that sometimes you just need your mum."

That line was originally cut from a Little House on the Prairie script; for being too sickly.

If that fails to delight, John Lewis has another one with a robin which tastefully targets a highly lucrative Christmas demographic. The recently bereaved.

Lidl attempts to tell kids about the joy of giving. Good luck with that. You rarely hear children on Boxing Day asking each other what they gave for Christmas. The ad also features a creepy giant gingerbread man.

Meanwhile Aldi are persevering with that stupid carrot.

There was some fear that the work of Roald Dahl might be somehow cheapened when Netflix bought it in 2021.

Happily Sainsbury's use of the BFG to flog chocolate and and frozen veg has put a few minds at rest.

Sainsbury's have perhaps given up on surpassing their 2014 epic, which attempted to hoist profits by tapping into the carnage of World War One to lure us into their biscuit aisle.

Marks & Spencer's effort shows Dawn French's Christmas being saved by a fairy, when hordes of neighbours march up uninvited to her house.

Forgoing a ripe opportunity to tell a load of scroungers to sling their hook, Dawn instead yelps: "This place is a mess. And I don't have even have any M&S food!"

Don't worry Dawn. Neither do we since M&S abandoned their shop in the middle of Sunderland.

Like Dawn's home, the magical transformation of that building into an empty shell was instantaneous and will live long in the memory.

See you in Jacky Whites Market, at about 3pm on Christmas Eve.