TONY GILLAN: Be honest, summer holidays were always boring at some point

Well this column is read by thousands of teenagers (indeed, they speak of little else) and I can reassure them that it’s cobblers.

The notion that “Everything is terrible these days” was proven as Pavlovian and wrong a few years ago when Angela Merkel was described by one opponent as Germany’s “worst Chancellor in history”. Now I’m not an expert on German history, but…

The “Everything was better” drone particularly pervades about now; midway through the school holidays when kids are prone to boredom. True, the older you are the more likely it is you had to create your own fun. However, this doesn’t mean that life was never dreary.

You may have used a hoop and stick for fun back then, but that doesn’t mean you were never bored. You would have dumped that hoop and stick sharpish too had you been given a Nintendo Switch.

“When I was your age I was never bored”. Oooh, lies.

At no point in human history has the older generation considered the younger to be anything other than a washout. I generalise; but then so do they.

I will concede that my friends and I did make our own summer amusement. Who could forget the thrill of a game of Poohsticks?

Poohsticks is, as everyone knows, pretty dull after about 46 seconds. So we livened things up a bit by playing it on Wearmouth Bridge. Crossing five lanes of traffic to see whose stick had triumphed was an extremely stupid thing to do.

Still, such dangerous tomfoolery could have been averted by a simple trip to Florida.

“Florida?! Why, when I was your age…” Never let anyone ever finish that sentence teenyboppers. It isn’t worth hearing.

There is an old expression: Only boring people get bored. Like many old sayings, it’s complete rubbish. Similarly morning is not the best part of the day and watched kettles manifestly do boil.

And everyone, whatever age, eventually became bored during the school summer holidays.