First World problems during lockdown: perhaps life’s not so bad after all

It could mean dodgy broadband, or not finding the right colour towels. The list is endless and the concept is less commonly referred to as “the fallacy of relative privation”. It’s more commonly referred to as “whinging”.

A woman recently bewailed on television of “desperately” needing her eyebrows doing (this is what you get for watching Channel 5). The situation might be desperate for beauticians right now, but not for the merely over-browed.

Furthermore, although eyebrow maintenance falls outside my area of expertise, she looked fine to me. I was hoping for something along the lines of the late Denis Healey. I suppose my disappointment her failure to resemble the late Denis Healey is a First World problem in itself.

Indeed, I myself am in the throes of moaning about being unable to have a haircut, but can’t explain why. It isn’t as though a trim would dramatically propel my level of sexiness.

But all this complaining about next-to-nothing has a positive aspect; other than moaning being one of our chief pleasures this year.

Do you recall Take That splitting up in 1996? It wasn’t exactly a Dealey Plaza moment and they were no Brother Beyond, but you might remember it.

Teenagers wept publicly and inundated the Samaritans. They were ridiculed for this. Call that suffering? Didn’t they know about world wars, etc.

However, in a roundabout way it was something to celebrate.

If, for an entire generation, the dissolution of the group who inflicted A Million Love Songs (it only seemed like more) was truly the worst thing ever to happen to them, shouldn’t we be pleased? Those distraught teenagers are now middle-aged and dealing with real problems.

These are dark days for everyone, but in varying degrees. The problems with health, loneliness and the economy can’t be overstated.

But the likes of me are just bleating about eyebrows, haircuts, boredom and closed pubs.

For most of us, though sadly by no means all, there’s more to be glad about than not. Still, moan by all means. I know I will.

A message from the Editor:

Thank you for reading this story on our website. While I have your attention, I also have an important request to make of you.

In order for us to continue to provide high quality and trusted local news on this free-to-read site, I am asking you to also please purchase a copy of our newspaper.

Our journalists are highly trained and our content is independently regulated by IPSO to some of the most rigorous standards in the world. But being your eyes and ears comes at a price. So we need your support more than ever to buy our newspapers during this crisis.

With the coronavirus lockdown having a major impact on many of our local valued advertisers - and consequently the advertising that we receive - we are more reliant than ever on you helping us to provide you with news and information by buying a copy of our newspaper.

Thank you.

How to subscribe to the print edition:

It’s easy to subscribe to your local newspaper. We have arranged a special 20 per cent off subscription offer for people to take advantage of. Visit www.localsubsplus.co.uk, choose the newspaper title, the type of subscription and enter your details.