Americans don't use Sunderland expressions but it's not my 'bad'

Being miserable is one of the few pleasures we have and one of our (umpteen) ongoing gripes concerns language.

This is nothing new, but matters were exacerbated recently when one of our number reported a customer in the Grey Horse in Consett as asking "can I get..." instead of "a pint of oojah please".

Americanisms are fine; when Americans use them. When the Brits use them they sound as daft as Clint Eastwood would by saying "you can jolly well make my day".

Perhaps most nauseating currently is the inexplicable and excruciatingly naff "my bad".

"Bad" is an adjective. If you were stopped for speeding and said: "Sorry officer; my fast", you would deserve three additional points on your licence.

It would be a better world if we could desist too with the toe-curling "thanks for reaching out", while beginning an email with "Hey!" is unpardonably rude; as well as toe-curling. Why not “Oi!”? It’s no worse.

Meanwhile there is no such thing as fries or potato wedges; only chips, of varying dimensions. I can tolerate the USA colonising my country, but take exception when they do the same to my tea.

We can hardly expect America to recognise its errant ways and plead to return to the empire, but decency dictates that they reciprocate and employ some Sunderland diction.

Alas, no American will ever announce that they are nashing to Nashville. Bette Davis never claimed that "Joan Crawford would twist on 21". No episode of Friends was made entitled The One Where Monica Tells Chandler His Kite is Getting Bigger.

So why are we mindlessly importing their verbal nonsense?

Perhaps I am something of an extremist, but "Hi guys" also makes my skin crawl, while no one is on the "dating scene" unless they are working out the age of a tree.

The list is a burgeoning one. Which modern expressions grate on you? It's fun to compile such a list and probably the only positive from the gormless appropriation of American expressions.