Ex-serviceman Gary Maddison frequently shamed his victim by calling her derogatory terms because of the outfits she wore and falsely reported her to the police for stealing drugs at work.
Newcastle Crown Court heard that during their relationship, he left her with swollen fingers and a black eye after physical attacks.
The 37-year-old eventually moved out of their home but he then began to leave her texts and notes threatening to commit suicide.
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Prosecutor Vince Ward said: "The complainant describes him as being always suspicious, including repeatedly accusing her of flirting with other men.
"He would describe her as looking slutty when she went out.”
The caught heard he referred to her by other derogatory terms.The court heard that there were three separate bursts of violence during the relationship.
Mr Ward said: "The first involved slamming a door in her face which caused a black eye.
"The second arose from an argument they had at a birthday celebration for one of her children.
"The defendant had become jealous because her ex-husband, the child's father, brought a birthday cake to the celebration and during the argument that followed, the defendant pushed her on the stairs and tore her shirt off and stabbed her in the buttocks with a pen.
"The third arose from this argument they had. The defendant had been rude to her mother. Over the course of the argument that followed she tried to take the defendant's phone from him and he pulled her fingers back."
Maddison moved out in the summer of 2019 but the relationship continued and he began to send her both affectionate and abusive texts, as well as notes which indicated he would self-harm and take his own life.
The victim eventually cut all contact with him after she sought help from the domestic abuse charity Harbour.
But Maddison continued to stalk her across two consecutive days in January 2020 by driving his car where he knew she would be.
On the first occasion, the court heard that he followed the victim in her car and on the second he drove slowly towards her as she crossed the road, which caused her to suffer a panic attack.When quizzed about it, he told police it was a coincidence she was there.
Mr Ward continued: "On the 22nd of February 2020, the defendant reported to the police that she had been stealing drugs from work.
"He refused to provide a statement to that affect. He made complaints to the Nursing and Midwifery Council, who launched an investigation.
"That matter was effectively referred back to her employers and the Nursing and Midwifery Council took no further action nor did the police.
"She was already experiencing a degree of anxiety at the time when she came into the relationship with the defendant and his behaviour towards her exasperated it."
In an impact statement, she said that she had to signed off from work as a cardiac nurse, which had brought about financial difficulties.
She said: "The defendant's behaviour has left me feeling terrified.
"I sleep with my hall-way landing light on. At times I sleep on the sofa downstairs."
Maddison, of Kirklea Road, Houghton, was convicted of controlling and coercive behaviour and two counts of stalking and pleaded guilty to a third count relating to the false reports to the authorities.
Lewis Kerr, defending, said: "He is a man of good character. He was 36-years-old at the time and he served significantly in the armed services.
"During that time he was honourably discharged and these offences came at a point in his life where he was clearly struggling with his own mental health.
"He attempted to deal with that in custody. He is not someone who will appear before the courts again in all likelihood."
Judge Christopher Prince sentenced Maddison to four years behind bars.