Sunderland RCA player-coach opens up on mental health battle as he prepares to take a break from football

Sunderland RCA player-coach Craig Hodgson has opened up on his battle with depression as he prepares to take a break from football in an open and honest interview with the Sunderland Echo.
PHOTO CREDIT: Simon MearsPHOTO CREDIT: Simon Mears
PHOTO CREDIT: Simon Mears

“I am in a position where talking about it is something I want to do because I think it will be good for me to tell other people what I have been going through.

“I am not embarrassed by it, I am not afraid to talk about it, I want to open up.”

Craig Hodgson is ready to talk.

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Football is a passion, a commitment, a love – but for Hodgson, it became an additional weight to carry on his shoulders after he became a father for the first time.

It is just over four years since his first son was born and the RCA midfielder found himself in darkness as his mental health deteriorated during one of the happiest moments of his life.

However, he turned a blind eye to his struggles and put on a brave face as he threw himself into battle in an ultra-competitive Northern League.

With mental health and depression still seen as a weakness, rather than an illness, Hodgson hid his struggles from his friends, work colleagues and team-mates until he hit a point where his mental state started to become too much to manage on his own.

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In an open and honest interview, he told The Echo: “For me, at the time, I think I didn’t understand that men can experience a form of post-natal depression.

“The impact it has on your life, on your lifestyle and the change of routine was something I really struggled with.

“I had the additional pressure of being a Dad, working and going to play football at a good level.

“I didn’t acknowledge it at the time, but a year later, I went and got medical support and I was talked through a few things I had experienced, about depression and I was placed on medication.

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“I couldn’t engage with family, I would go to football and work, I would hide it and put a front on, but at home, the worst side of me came out a bit and I realised the impact it was having.”

Earlier this year, Hodgson accepted an offer to combine coaching duties alongside his playing role with RCA.

The former Dunston UTS and Bishop Auckland player initially relished his new position and enjoyed working alongside management team Martin Swales and Mark Cowan.

But as the season has wore on, the pressure of playing at a competitive level, and an ever-increasing workload has meant that the release that football offers withered away.

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“I’ve always been the type of person and player that analyses and overthinks everything,” explained Hodgson.

“If the team is not doing well, I take all that responsibility and I have always been that way.

“Despite that, I could put a bad performance to bed in the past, but now it would linger, my whole mindset has changed and it’s built up to a point where it impacted on my mental health.

“Football was a release from the stresses of life, and it still was during the game, but the before and after, it being constantly on my mind wasn’t helping.

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“But the recovery from games, the niggling injuries, the bad injuries, it all adds to the mental strain and I think people think that doesn’t happen at our level.

“That was why I opened up to Mark Cowan, he has been a massive support, and I am so grateful to him for helping me understand.

“Then Martin Swales, Gary Errington and the rest of the club have also looked after me too, I really appreciate that.”

There have been several campaigns to raise awareness of mental health amongst football’s elite over the past decade.

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Earlier this year, Prince William fronted the ‘Heads Up’ campaign that was supported by the Football Association and a number of high-profile figures including former Manchester United winger David Beckham and current England captain Steph Houghton.

But the strain placed on players that have combined full-time work with competing in the non-league game has a habit of falling under the radar.

Hodgson – who has been having sessions with Chester-le-Street based mental health charity If U Care Share Foundation – insisted that people underestimate the constant pressure on semi-professional players as he prepares to take a break from the game to help him move towards “a better place”.

“I am not thrilled at the thought of giving up football – but I have seen a massive benefit of doing that and the initial impact has been good for me.

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“People underestimate the mental strain on non-league players.

“I won’t be the only person in non-league taking the game as seriously as I do.

“I had a professional mentality, trying to eat right, trying to not drink, trying to look after myself.

“Now, I am appreciating other things in life, it’s not all plain-sailing, I’m not saying I am not missing football, but I feel better.”

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“I am still on medication, but I feel that I am in a place where I feel I can start looking to come off them.

“That would be massive for me.

“I feel ready to move on to a better place for the first time in ages.”

More information on If U Care Share Foundation and the services they provide can be found on their website here https://www.ifucareshare.co.uk/