Richard Ord: What a brilliant headline...

Sunderland AFC footballer Ahmed Elmohamady on the catwalk. SAFC Foundation Fashion Strikes 2011 at the Stadium of Light.
Sunderland AFC footballer Ahmed Elmohamady on the catwalk. SAFC Foundation Fashion Strikes 2011 at the Stadium of Light.
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THE annual Fashion Strikes charity catwalk show featuring a host of Sunderland stars never fails to leave me glad I’m no follower of fashion.

As a devout George at Asda man (though if I’m feeling flush, I do like to indulge in the Florence and Fred range at Tesco), I’m perhaps not the best judge of fashion but some of the garb the footy stars were wearing this week took some believing.

I may be wrong, but I’m not convinced we’ll all be sporting fur pythons round our necks this winter.

Niklas Bendtner, however, did look remarkably comfortable draped in the beast. But then again, he was seen later on sporting an umbrella and sunglasses! A man for all seasons you could say.

Ahmed Elmohamady did his best to liven up his look, by sticking his jeans in his boots and making like a stork. Now that might just catch on … at Washington Wetlands Trust.

He was, however, eclipsed by David Meyler, whose moustache and ladies sunglasses ensemble is sure to be the must-have look for the Sunderland faithful next season.

Still, charity did very well out of it. The show has raised tens of thousands of pounds for the SAFC Foundation and plenty of smiles in the office.

Next year we trust the lighting will be sorted in the dressing room. If ever there was an advert for dangers of dressing in the dark, this was it.

THANKS for all your entries into my headline competition last week – there’s nothing like a free gift to get the creative juices flowing.

Here’s the pick of the suggestions.

First up is Al Kerr, of Sunderland, who recalled the classic headline of 1912 that allegedly appeared in the Dundee Post following the sinking of the Titanic.

He wrote: “The most famous headline is possibly Dundee Man Dies. This was a bit parochial to say the least – considering it was about he Titanic disaster!”

Reader John Watson, of Washington, had a particularly convoluted headline, which is so ridiculous, I suppose it must be true.

He said: “My favourite headline comes from the world fish-eating competition.

“When Scotsman Michael Hicks from Fife came up against Anders Sven from Norway, the competition started and Hicks had to withdraw due to losing a tooth biting into the tench they were eating.

“Sven won by eating nine of these fish.

“The headline the next day read: “One Tooth Free For Fife’s Hicks. Sven Ate Nine Tench.” Brilliant, but I just don’t believe it.

The winner of the competition is A Ray from Moorside. Mr Ray wrote: “Ahoy, Mr Ord. The best, most unforgettable, headline I ever saw was with a tiny item of news in the Sunderland Echo many years ago . . .

“In Spain ETA , the Basque Nationalist movement, mounted a protest by strategically blocking a key motorway sliproad with vehicles, causing huge traffic chaos.

“The Sunderland Echo headline read “Too Many Basques In One Exit”.

“It’s so good a headline I have often wondered if The Echo invented the story.

“I have often wondered if I imagined the whole thing in my dreams but I’m not as clever as that.”

Cheers, Mr Ray, a copy of the funny headline book Whitstable Mum in Custard Shortage (Penguin Viking, £12.99) is on its way to you now.