Richard Ord: We wuz robbed!

Isaac shooting
Isaac shooting
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MY seven-year-old son Isaac was involved in a 25-goal thriller for his football team this weekend.

Watching so many incredible goals in a single game was quite something to behold. It’s a pity they all went in the same end.

A whopping 25-0 defeat had me so riled I gathered the parents together to sign a petition calling for the coach’s head. And I’m the coach.

I’m not saying it was a totally one-sided affair but our man of the match was the crossbar. If it wasn’t for the woodwork we may well have been on the wrong end of a 30-goal drubbing. Little consolation, I know, but the crossbar was happy with his medal.

It was one of those games where you just have to hold your hands up and admit … it was the ref’s fault.

I know it may sound like sour grapes, but he should have declared the game null and void. There was an extra player on the pitch, a clear contravention of the league rules.

The fact that it was our team playing with the extra player is besides the point – rules is rules and I shall be contacting the league officials forthwith. We’re desperate for the points.

My first season at the helm of Whitley Coast Soccer’s under-eight football team has been a steep learning curve. For me, not the kids – they’ve clearly learned nowt.

While I can spot a loose shoelace at 40 yards, the secret of consistent success on the pitch has so far eluded me and my team. The secret of occasional success is proving pretty elusive too.

But, hey, we’re all in this together, and it’s good to see that my own boy, Isaac, dubbed the Wing Wizard (pass a ball his way and he disappears, that’s a kind of magic isn’t it?), shares my eternal optimism in life.

Fifteen games into the season, two wins, one draw and 12 defeats, he pulls me up with a question.

“Dad,” he says, “Are we top of the league? I bet we are.”

“Not yet son,” I told him. “But we’ll keep plugging away.”

It’s heartening to know he shares not only my positive view on life but also my poor grasp of even the most basic of mathematics. We’ll go far.