“HEY,” our window cleaner shouted, “did anyone ever tell you you’re the double of Hank Marvin?”
I took it as a compliment. I had to. As amusing as it would be for the neighbours to see a me, in a suit, brawling in the street with a heavily-tattooed man wielding a chamois leather, you know who would end up with a black eye and a bucket on his head.
Yes, Mr Marvin from number 30.
With a face like mine, it’s important for my self-esteem to turn any perceived criticism of my looks into a positive.
I still cherish the words of a reader who wrote to moan about my column and ended his rant saying I was a “third class journalist and a second-rate Hugh Grant look-alike.”
It was meant to hurt, but I was over the moon.
A second-rate Hugh Grant look-alike was good enough for me. I should have had it printed on my business card.
That was a few years ago. Now I’m a second-rate Hank Marvin look-alike. Not something I’ll be shouting about.
Still, at least I now know I have a fallback option if my scribbling career comes to an abrupt halt.
A Shadows tribute act.
Everyone needs a fallback option career-wise and mine may be lucrative. Not that tribute acts don’t have their own worries.
Take Ross Perry, for example. The 32-year-old plays Jason Orange in the Take That tribute act, Re-Take That.
His world was turned upside down this week with the revelation that Jason was leaving Take That.
Would the rest of the Re-Take That gang now boot him out to ensure their tribute band reflected reality?
Thankfully, his position in the world’s best Take That tribute act is safe, after the group decided he could stay.
The world, and Re-Take That fans who have bought tickets for their next gig at Pontins, Camber Sands, can breathe a huge sigh of relief.The only problem with my Shadows tribute career that I can foresee, is finding a willing Cliff Richard look-alike.
I’m no expert, but I suspect they may be scarce on the ground at the moment...
DO you look vaguely like someone famous? Send your photo with your details in an envelope marked “Squint and it could be him” care of Richard Ord at the usual address. Alternatively you can email it.
We’ll print the best. Who knows it may launch you on the highly lucrative look-alike circuit.