RICHARD ORD: Written in the stars! Wor Russell Grant is talking crystal balls

Where do you turn to when the country is in lockdown and even your own PM is walloped by coronavirus? How’s about stargazer Russell Grant...
The Moon in Uranus is not good news. Peter Byrne/PA WireThe Moon in Uranus is not good news. Peter Byrne/PA Wire
The Moon in Uranus is not good news. Peter Byrne/PA Wire

While there’s a place for rigorous scientific research and disciplined social control during this global pandemic, a sprinkling of sage advice from those who study the heavens doesn’t go amiss.

No-one in high office predicted this epidemic, but what about our Russ, who has built a career on letting the movements of heavenly bodies reveal what the future has in store?

Hide Ad
Hide Ad

I couldn’t get him on the phone, so have studiously followed the advice he has dished out since the Government enforced a nationwide lockdown.

The predictions were sent out before the restrictions were introduced and the full extent of the Covid-19 pandemic was realised, but as a predictor of the future, I’m sure Russell knew this was coming. To that end, here’s what he has said over the last week, with my explanations in the brackets:

Cancer: Treat yourself with care and consideration. Go on holiday and splash out on luxuries. (Yeah, pitch a tent in the garden and bung your neighbour £30 for a two pack of their stockpiled toilet roll).

Capricorn: Don’t make your home a place to hide from the world’s troubles (erm, on second thoughts…)

Hide Ad
Hide Ad

Taurus: Feeling sorry for yourself won’t accomplish anything. You have the opportunity to expand your knowledge and explore the world. (With binoculars from your bedroom window).

Capricorn: Taking a short trip could be therapeutic. (Like from the kitchen to bathroom)

Taurus: Push yourself to attend a party, even if you don’t feel like going out. (Especially if you like the taste of hospital food or fancy a night in the cells).

Sagittarius: Take this opportunity to book a trip. (Skegness in 2023 might be an option, but scratch Wuhan from your wishlist).

Hide Ad
Hide Ad

Capricorn: Relocating to a place where modern plumbing and electricity is an option, but you must be open-minded about a new abode. (How do you feel about moving your bed to the kitchen?)

Aquarius: Isolating yourself from the crowd will make you unhappy. (I get the feeling, Russell doesn’t like Aquarians)

Sagittarius: Home life feels uncertain. You are not sure whether you’re going to be staying at the same place for very long. (I’m no stargazer, but Sagittarians, take it from me, you are…)

Apologies if your are a believer in horoscopes, I just don’t see it myself. Well I wouldn’t would I? Typical Scorpio!

Related topics: