FAKE tan, flirting, foul mouths, fisticuffs and fat egos.
That’s about all viewers were offered from Geordie Shore’s first outing on MTV last night when we were introduced to Sunderland’s own Charlotte and her co-stars James, Vicky, Gaz, Jay, Greg, Holly and Sophie.
Boasting enough fake bake between them to put even The Only Way Is Essex star Amy Childs to shame, the awful eight burst onto our screen bragging about their bedroom antics, drinking skills and debatable good looks.
After a few too many jagerbombs, their first night together in their new Jesmond home ended early for our Charlotte (pictured), who was in bed by 9pm with Sophie, leaving the rest of the lads and lasses to an evening of tantrums, tears and frolicking beneath the sheets.
And so the show went on.
The boys flashed flesh, pumped iron and letched after the ladies, while the girls flashed even more flesh, knocked back shot after shot, followed by man after man.
And just when you thought the lads and lasses couldn’t make you any more proud to be from the North East, the show ended with a huge drunken brawl in a Newcastle nightspot that spilled out onto the street.
Like most readers out there, I’m well acquainted with several Geordies – male and female – and I can safely say not one of them behave quite like the bunch of booze-fuelled, over-sexed characters we were subjected to last night.
Unfortunately for us, the awful eight have made the job of persuading the rest of the country that not everyone from the North East is a superficial, glow-tan idiot, that little bit harder.