Five best ways to pull up your tights on a winter morning - how John Cleese and caterpillars can help

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Dress-loving ladies may have noticed there’s a rather brisk nip in the air at the moment.

This can mean only one thing. In the not so distant future the Pandora’s box of tights will be opened for another winter season.

Tights, a staple of most women’s wardrobes, but the bane of many women’s (and perhaps some men’s) lives.

How many hours are wasted by wrestling with the nylon nightmares? Especially on a cold and dark morning.

Here’s five handy ways to pull on your tights so you can have an extra five minutes in bed.


Make sure tights are rolled down and raring to go.

While standing, place one foot in, then the other, and pull tights in a wiggling fashion upwards, one leg at a time. This is probably the most common and time consuming approach.


Start off like the Traditionalist but instead of the softly softly approach use more vigour* and add a ‘pull and jump’ while tights are around the ankle region.

One jump will probably get the tights to the knee area, and a another jump should seal the deal.

* This method is not recommended with lower deniers.


Step into tights and then lie backwards on a bed. Then wiggle. Wiggle a lot. This will also burn off a number of calories.


Get tights to the knee area and then flick those legs out for all they’re worth. Look to John Cleese’s Ministry of Silly Walks for inspiration.

The lunges are also a bonus workout for the derrière.


Place feet in tights, lie on back and pull. Pull for all you’re worth. Best done while imagining you’re in a sleeping bag. This manoeuvre is best done with a pair of tights that are too large, so they’re baggier* and will glide easily.

*WARNING: If tights are too baggy you run the risk of Nora Batty ankles.

John Cleese

John Cleese