Ex-Sunderland boss David Moyes' greatest gags show he can be a better comedian than football manager
We all talk up our abilities when touting for jobs.
Self promotion and self confidence are useful traits when trying to impress prospective employers.
Self delusion is an entirely different matter.
The trick is not to talk yourself up too much and discharge claptrap of such magnitude as to be worthy of prominent display on the side of a bus.
Several former Sunderland managers of recent times have had a go.
There was: “I was only sacked because I’m a Geordie.”
Then there was “I didn’t really have final say on signing half-a-squad’s worth of utter rubbish, or fall out with people for no reason. It was all another bloke’s fault.”
You can’t hold it against them. We live in a strange era when “facts” such as the above can be disproved in about eight seconds; yet no whopper is too big to be believed. So why shouldn’t they join in with the global shower of twaddle if it suits them?
Which brings us to David Moyes’ comments over the weekend.
Unfeeling detractors have mentioned that leading West Ham United to 13th last season – two places below where they finished the season before – does not perhaps place him in football’s Pantheon.
Others think it unfair to judge him solely on the mediocrity he brought to West Ham, when there is also the breathtaking ineptitude he showed at Sunderland to consider.
For an even more rounded opinion, there is the lousy job he did at both Manchester United and Sociedad to take into account too.
Still, at least he can joke about it.
His best gag at the weekend was: “I would still consider myself in the elite group of managers.”
He continued his routine with a predictable non mea culpa for his disastrous stint at Sunderland.
He said: “It really is a brilliant club with passionate supporters. But they had big financial problems.
“We didn’t have the funds required to rebuild the team and it was also difficult to attract a level of player to make the difference.
“We couldn’t get it going. But lots of good managers couldn’t either. After I left, it sadly continued on a downward spiral.”
He was never going to omit that last sentence.
It’s funny that various ex-employees of SAFC refer to the club’s “difficult time” without ever imagining that the difficulties could just, possibly, perhaps, maybe, conceivably, credibly and feasibly have something to do with their own shortcomings.
It’s just a theory.
It’s a pity that David “didn’t have the funds required.” Although a pedantic element might allude to the tens of millions spent on the transfers and wages of model professionals like
Djilobodji, Ndong, Lescott, Pienaar, Denayer, Januzaj and Gibson.
Then there was his “motivational” ability: self-serving excuses for failing where Sam Allardyce had succeeded masquerading as reasons.
I shall stop now. It isn’t entirely healthy to dwell upon a dismal past and at least he gave us a laugh in his interview.
Life’s too short. Good luck to David Moyes.
Even better luck to whichever team he takes over next. Evidence suggests they will need it.