District Judge Paul Currer told Alan Appleby 31, he had come as close as possible to being put behind bars without being imprisoned.
Appleby knocked one victim to the floor when he was being escorted from the Colliery Tavern at Monkwearmouth, Sunderland, on Thursday, September 9.
When a second Good Samaritan stepped in, Appleby, of Edward Burdis Street, Southwick, assaulted him, South Tyneside Magistrates’ Court heard.
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And in a final attack after stepping outside, he struck a blow to the woman’s head which sent her tumbling to the ground.
Jailing him for 26 weeks but suspending for two years, Judge Currer questioned why Appleby had carried on drinking when heavily intoxicated.
He described his behaviour as “disgraceful” and said he had acted “violently” and “angrily”, adding: “This was an unpleasant and nasty offence.
“You’ve come as close as anybody could to going to prison. Please don’t let me down.”
On leaving court, Appleby, who pleaded guilty to two actual bodily harm assaults, one battery and possession of cocaine, said, “Sorry to you and the victims.”
The court heard he struck after returning from the toilet and suspecting something had been done to his drink.
Prosecutor Gurjot Kaur said: “He has had too much to drink, and the parties have tried to escort him out.
“He goes on to assault one man and then another, and the lady.”
At least two victims suffered injuries including bruising at the hands of Appleby, who has seven previous convictions including for drugs.
Gerry Armstrong, defending, said his client had expressed deep remorse and wanted help to address his offending.
He said: “He has in no way tried to blame anyone else for what happened.”
But he admitted: “It’s disgraceful behaviour and should never have happened.”
Judge Currer jailed Appleby for 26 weeks for each ABH attack and to 10 weeks for the battery, all to run concurrently.
He ordered him to pay a total of £500 compensation to his victims and complete 30 rehabilitation days and 200 hours of unpaid work.