A drunk man was arrested after trying to report an assault on himself.
Liam Sharkey spoke to a police officer in Hylton Road, Sunderland, to complain of a cut to his arm.
The officer 'could not make head nor tail' of what he was saying, and arrested him for being drunk and disorderly.
"It seems Mr Sharkey called the police officer over," Lee Poppett, prosecuting, told South Shields Magistrates' Court.
"He was drunk, and quickly became verbally aggressive.
"The officer reports his eyes were blurred, and his speech was slurred."
Sharkey, 32, of no fixed abode, admitted being drunk and disorderly on March 29.
Jason Smith, defending, said: "Mr Sharkey had an arm injury, and he wanted to report that to the police.
"He was very drunk, and understandably, the officer could not make head nor tail of what he was saying.
"Mr Sharkey tells me is hopeful of gaining employment."
The bench ordered Sharkey to pay £155 in fines and costs.