LEGAL EAGLE: Guidance on dealing with child contact agreements when domestic abuse is involved

Mediation is not always suitable as domestic abuse victims may not benefit as abuse can still be perpetrated and a mediator will determine that certain issues are not suitable when there is domestic abuse involved.

My ex-partner and I are struggling to arrange contact with my daughter. I have tried my best to arrange this with him but he was violent towards me in our relationship and it is difficult to communicate with him as he constantly talks down to me and is very aggressive in the way he speaks. My mental health is struggling to cope with talking to him but I want to do this for the sake of my daughter. He has sent me a MIAM request but I am unsure mediation is the best route to go down. Are there any benefits to doing mediation? Is it not better for me to apply for the Court to resolve this?

As a starting point, this is a difficult situation to be in. Generally speaking, a person who has parental responsibility over a child has a right to see that child and section 8 of the Children Act 1989 also determines that it is within the child’s best interest to have contact with both parents.

Mediation is one of the most recognised ways of resolving issues between parties outside of Court proceedings. This is conducted by an independent and neutral third party called a mediator. A MIAM request is a first meeting with a mediator to discuss what the issues are and if the case is suitable for mediation. This is done without the other party present.

Whilst mediation is encouraged by the Court to avoid the lengthy, complex and costly Court procedures, mediation is not always suitable. It is recognised that domestic abuse victims may not benefit from mediation as abuse can still be perpetrated even when in mediation. In many cases, the mediator will determine that certain issues are not suitable for mediation when there is domestic abuse involved.

Ultimately, it is up to each individual if they would like to attend the MIAM and discuss whether this would be suitable for mediation with the mediator. The initial appointment is free and you are able to voice your concerns at this stage. However, you are also in a position to decline the MIAM if you do not feel this is appropriate.

This does not mean that you need to apply to Court straight away. Court proceedings can be long and costly and this is not always a preferable option for domestic abuse victims. Another option can be to get a solicitor involved to negotiate contact arrangements with your ex-partner.

Negotiating through a solicitor will mean that there will be no direct contact between the parties. A resolution can be sought without the need for Court involvement. A resolution can include agreed times and dates that the child will be with your ex-partner and how handover can be conducted so that you do not need to put yourself at risk of any harm. If an agreement is reached, this can be recorded in a ‘Consent Order’ which is sent to a Judge and it will be enforceable.

A solicitor will also be able to assist with any applications to Court, if necessary as this will be a last resort, and additional options if you feel unsafe with your ex-partner. For further advice please contact us at Ben Hoare Bell LLP solicitors on 0191 565 3112 or email [email protected]. For further information visit www.benhoarebell.co.uk