Three years ago I was best man at a friend’s wedding.
The vicar asked me to hand him the rings and I put my hand in my pocket, only to discover that... they were safely in there and there was no problem.
Everton have been playing poorly, which is not the same as having poor players.
This would be a much better story if I had lost them.
Sod’s law? There is no such thing in life including football. The teams who deserve to be relegated – will be.
Two seasons ago, Sunderland extricated themselves from the bottom three in a manner that was considerably less foreseeable than the escape they are attempting now.
Following an unlikely draw at eventual champions Manchester City and a scarcely believable victory at Chelsea, there was a home game against bottom-placed Cardiff City.
The chatter then was of how typical of Sunderland it would be take points from two great teams in away games, then utterly cock it up at home against the strugglers. Sod’s Law.
Sunderland beat Cardiff 4-0.
This does not automatically equate to certain victory tonight. Everton have been playing poorly, which is not the same as having poor players.
They can do better as they proved in their FA Cup semi-final.
No one needs to be told this, but let’s just get into the Stadium of Light and make as much noise as your hands, feet and larynx will allow.
I have no specific sound in mind – just noise.
It helped against Cardiff in 2014, against Chelsea on Saturday and will help tonight too.
Yaaaaaarrrrgggghhhh! I repeat: yaaaaaarrrrgggghhhh!