Who said it was a man’s world?

Jane Austen

Jane Austen

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SO Jane Austen is the new face of the £10 note.

SO Jane Austen is the new face of the £10 note.

Seems appropriate to me. Her husband Steve was the face of the Six Million Dollar Man so it’s only right she gets her moment in the sun. I like a bit of culture, me.

By all accounts, the decision to use her face on the tenner was part of a concerted campaign to get a woman’s face on the banknote. Something to do with women’s rights.

Apparently, some 35,000 people lobbied the Bank of England demanding it.

Too many men’s faces on our cash they said. Really?

To be honest, I haven’t really noticed whose face is on our folding stuff, by dint of the fact that I rarely get my mitts on paper money.

All the notes end up in my wife’s hands. I get the coppers.

I’m not saying my wife’s tight, but she did once raise the question, when checking our bank statement: “Have you been eating at work again?”

She wasn’t joking.

My consumption of food was eating into our household budget. The essentials, like £70 cut-and-colours and £40 tubs of face cream, were under threat if I continued to seek sustenance during office hours.

“Perhaps I should starve during working hours then,” I said.

“Or maybe I should forgo that £1.20 sandwich and instead start eating the collection of shoes you have stocked up in the cupboard. You know, the ones that cost a fortune but are rarely worn!

“I could ladle some of that anti-wrinkle cream on them, and gnaw on them during my lunch hour.”

You should have seen the look on her face. Didn’t change expression once. If only I’d said those words out loud. Imagine her face then.

So Jane Austen is the girl then. Which means there will be more women’s faces on our notes than men’s.

One side has the Queen, the other has various other blokes and Jane Austen. All the coins have just a woman’s face on them.

Men are now in the minority. Tell me something I don’t know. And they call that equality?

His highness Prince Derek

I READ somewhere this week that Kate Middleton gave birth to a baby boy. Surprised the media didn’t make more of a fuss about it to be honest.

While Kevin and Ian were in the running, they are understood to have played it safe and settled on George Alexander Louis.

So much for the people’s prince then. A Prince Darren would cut across that class divide. Missed opportunity really.

Reminded me of the naming of our first born. Harrison was my choice. Harrison Ord. One for Star Wars fans really.

We settled on Bradley. My wife is a big fan of Brad Pitt. I am aware of his body of work, particular favourites being Seven and Snatch. My wife, well, she’s just aware of his body.

Apparently Richard was in the running for the naming of the new prince. Our first born could have been a Richard. I was named Richard after my dad, and so that family tradition could have continued.

He wasn’t named Richard for much the same reason as he was named Brad. My wife was aware of the body.