ARTIST Dominic Wilcox of this parish is making waves in the art world by “fusing intriguing art with innovative design,” the Echo revealed this week.
Indeed, if you’re looking for someone to “mould a thought, an idea, an incident, into a permanent object for all to see” the former University of Sunderland designer is your man.
The words sound inspiring, but on viewing the work of the talented Mr Wilcox, my lack of understanding of the subtle nuances of the modern artist was cruelly exposed.
I mean, If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear that rather than one of Mr W’s “moulded thoughts”, the Echo actually printed a photograph of a man using a giant plastic nose to operate his mobile phone! What do you reckon?
WHAT does Ord know about art anyway? I hear you ask.
Well, if you must know, I’m a qualified artist. I took my A-level art after just one-year’s study and produced a painting that I was convinced would shake the art world to its very foundations.
For nigh on 30 years I somehow managed to suppress the memory of the clunking dirge I submitted for my exam, until this week.
Reflecting on Dominic Wilcox’s plastic phone operating nose masterpiece, I tried to recall my A-level daub. Oh, the horror as the poster paint vision hovered into view in my mind’s eye.
The work itself has thankfully been lost forever, but if I give you a description, see if you can unravel the hidden message.
My painting was of an atomic bomb mushroom cloud hanging over London with, in the foreground, the grim reaper, his skeletal face grinning out of the picture. He held his scythe in one hand while, dangling from the other was ... wait for it … a gold watch on a chain.
I had considered adding a third hand to the Grim Reaper holding a placard with the words: “The end of the world is nigh” but decided to keep my message subtle. As subtle as a brick.
My burgeoning career in the art world was brought to juddering halt by the inglorious Grade D dished out by the examiners.