RICHARD ORD: Storm in a D Cup

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IS it time to kiss goodbye to the The Sun’s Page 3 topless models?

That was question we posed online this week after it was widely reported that the famous red top was to ditch the cheeky tradition/outdated institution (delete where applicable) of bare-breasted stunners (stunner, pronounced stunnaaah. In your best barrow boy cockney, of course).

I tweeted the question, to which one wag responded “won’t you get newsprint on your lips?”

“Only if done properly” would have been my reply, but this is a serious subject.

The objectification of women who want to be objectified for money is naturally objectionable.

While the girls on Page 3 may be attractive, what the ink on paper image cannot convey is the model’s personality.

And, as we all know, personality is what really counts.

If you’re attracted to women with personalities that are shallow, who are self-absorbed and who couldn’t give a hoot about morality or the feminist cause as long as they’re paid, then that’s something the Page 3 pictures just can’t convey.

Personally, all the Page 3 models I’ve met have been great fun....

I thought I’d leave that hanging. Yes, I’ve been on the town with Page 3 models. Don’t tell the wife.

In a previous life I spent a week working for a tabloid and was, for one of my tasks, asked to chaperone some glamour models. It’s a dirty job but someone’s gotta, blah, blah...

To cut a long story short, I ended up on the town with Jo Guest, a Page 3 regular who is probably best remembered for being chased around by Matt Lucas in the video for Blur’s 1990s’ hit record Country House wearing just a skimpy nurse’s uniform.

We ended up in a bar called the G-Spot. I’d like to say we discussed in-depth the objectification of women but, alas, it didn’t crop up in conversation. So I can’t enlighten you any further.

Other than to say, Jo Guest was very generous.

She lent me a tenner so I could get a taxi back to my digs.

Today, as a father of two boys aged 10 and 14, you’d think the Page 3 debate would be an important one.

What impact could seeing a topless Page 3 girl have on their relationships with women in the future?

It’s about as relevant as discussing the impact of cassette tape recording on the sales of vinyl records.

Page 3 is the least of our worries. The internet has opened up a whole new can of worms.

Porn and the electronic age when I was a boy extended as far as typing 58008 onto a calculator and turning it upside down.

Type “BOOBS” into Google now and you’d be amazed at just how objectified women have become.

We laugh when we read that the prudish Victorians were in uproar over women baring their ankles in public,

I suspect our children will be just as amused by the furore the bevy of Page 3 beauties created today.

Lord knows what our kids will be seeing on the page 3 of The Sun in 2040.