Linda Colling: Tarty and tacky

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GISSA kiss, gissa’s all a break Denise Welch.

Her latest provocative display, playing fast and loose as she partied, snogging Matt Evans her Dancing On Ice partner with a leg wrapped around him at the show party, is now wearing as thin as the ice she skates on.

The lot fell to gallant Gareth Gates, the Pop-Idol runner-up to escort the worse-for-wear Denise home.

What an embarrassment this woman is not just to her husband, Tim Healy but her sons and womanhood in general. She’s 52 and acting like a flirty, young filly. It’s her tarty, tacky trademark.

Her cocaine-snorting confessions, intimate revelations of cheating on her hubby and drink-fuelled fights aside, Denise is now a predictable attention-seeking drag. If only she would make the title of her book, Pulling Myself Together, her mantra.

She’s intent on behaving badly and presumably reckons it gives her some kudos. No, we’re sick of it. I once had sympathy for Denise, who I met only once, and who told me how she had suffered from severe clinical depression intermittently throughout her life, which worsened following the birth of her first child.

I could understand how she fell into alcoholism and drug abuse and had since come back from the brink. Denise was proud of all that she’d achieved. She was a shining example of how you can take control of your life, overcome addictions and thankfully hadn’t killed herself when at her lowest ebb.

That was inspirational. But now instead of building on all that, she chooses to make an exhibition of herself. And being the poser she is, has displayed a penchant for showing off her undies – pulling up her top to flash her bra and pulling down her jogging pants to flash her knickers. What signals does all this send out to young women who have few enough role models.

It’s all so demeaning, Denise, and not nice to see a woman of your age so totally lacking in decorum and good sense.

And that goes for Sally Bercow too, the speaker’s wife, who was totally out of order posing naked except for a bed sheet in the London Evening Standard magazine last week.

“I was probably stupid to do it,” she told BBC radio. “I was a fool really to agree to be photographed in a sheet. I didn’t really think through the implications.

“It was just meant to be a bit of fun, but obviously it has completely backfired on me and I look a complete idiot.”

There’s not a lot to think through when you are starkers, wrapped in a sheet and someone is pointing a camera at you. You know you are posing, as she did, standing before a window overlooking parliament.

But common sense goes out the window for such self publicists. Whatever did her husband John Bercow reckon to his 41-year-old wife’s tarty pose and talk on how their living quarters in the Palace of Westminster were “sexy”.

Whatever was she thinking of to show herself off and up in a story titled “My bedroom secrets”, in which she said her 48-year-old husband had turned into a sex symbol since becoming speaker?

“Politics can be sexy because power is an aphrodisiac,” Sally Bercow told the Standard. “Since John became speaker, the number of women who hit on him has gone up dramatically.”

What an embarrassment she is. As for her insisting it was “all a storm in a bedsheet” and moaning “everything I do gets into the media,” Er , what do you expect when you pose near naked for a newspaper? How ridiculous, just like the woman herself.