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LOONY HOPES TO BE MONSTER HIT
Sensible policies for a sensib
Nightclub DJ Ken Newby, 27, is the Monster Raving Loony Partys official candidate for Sunderland North.Ken hopes his radical platform of nonsense, general tomfoolery and more nonsense will be enough to overturn sitting MP Bill Etheringtons 17,004 majority.Manifesto highlights include abolishing January and February ; because theyre too cold ; shortening the dole queues by making the unemployed stand closer together and muzzling ; and, in some cases, even neutering ; MPs.The partys ace in the hole for Sunderland will see the return of ship building to Wearside, with the building of a fleet of tugs to tow the British Isles 500 miles south for the weather.Ken admits hes only in politics for what he can get."I needed a new house and as number 10 is about to become vacant, I thought it would make a nice pad in the city," he said.Reminded that, in fact, the keys to Number 10 would go to party leader Screaming Lord Sutch as PM, Ken admitted hed overlooked that small detail."I hadnt actually thought of that ; perhaps because Im a loony," said Ken, from Seaham, a DJ with Sunderland club Pzazz.
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Weather for Sunderland
Thursday 09 February 2012
Today
Light sleet
Temperature: 0 C to 3 C
Wind Speed: 7 mph
Wind direction: South
Tomorrow
Cloudy
Temperature: -3 C to 2 C
Wind Speed: 15 mph
Wind direction: South
