Single mum Clare Fisher broke her silence after babysitter Suzanne Holdsworth was last month cleared of killing two-year-old Kyle, from Houghton.

And more than four years after her son's death, Miss Fisher is still trying to rebuild her life.

"I put on a brave face because I believe it is something I have to deal with," said the 24-year-old call centre worker. "People think I am OK, but I'm not.

"Kyle was not only my son, he was my best friend and my soulmate – I will never forget him."

Miss Fisher, who lives in Somersby Close, Hartlepool, was still a teenager at the time of the tragedy in July 2004 and had to make the agonising decision to turn off Kyle's life-support machine.

She had to wait more than five months to bury Kyle, and the family had to go through another sombre graveyard ceremony in 2006 when Kyle's brain was finally released by forensic scientists to be buried with him.

"I'm living my life as if I was with him and I live it through his personality," said Miss Fisher. "We had a loving, fun-filled, happy relationship and I use my own personality to mirror what Kyle was like."

Suzanne Holdsworth, now living in Leeds, was jailed for life in April 2005 for the death of Kyle.

She was accused of repeatedly banging his head against a wooden banister.

But after medical evidence was produced, the Court of Appeal quashed her conviction and ordered a retrial.

Miss Holdsworth, who maintained Kyle suffered a fit before unexpectedly collapsing, was last month unanimously cleared of his murder at her former home in Millpool Close, Hartlepool, in July 2004.

During Miss Holdsworth's retrial, Miss Fisher was accused in court of being responsible for the head injuries that led to his death.

"I know the finger was pointed at me, but it was a defence tactic," said Miss Fisher.

"They had to put doubt in the mind of the jury and would have pointed the finger at anyone if it helped.

"For me to have to go through what was put to me was horrendous. I never ever hurt Kyle, I loved him. I never caused Kyle any injury. Kyle was my life and it was impossible to comprehend what was being said in court."

Kyle's dad, Jon Taylor, from Houghton, separated from Ms Fisher when his son was a baby. He recently vowed not to rest until he finds the truth about how the toddler died.