"For Nick, it's a chance to behave like a lunatic..."
The world has been my mother's oyster this summer holiday – she's finally got round to getting a taxi card.
This means she gets cut-price taxi fares because she's regarded as too old and infirm to get the bus.
Of course, the kids have taken this opportunity to skive a few free lifts to the MetroCentre and beyond.
And one unexpected delight for Nick has been persuading her to use the Shopmobility wheelchairs.
For Vanessa, this means something to hang her shopping from New Look and Primark on.
But for Nick, it's a chance to behave like a lunatic and frighten the wits out of her when he's pushing her.
It's a bit like when they were younger and they used to fight over who'd push the trolley in the supermarket.
Only now, it's not just the bananas that get bruised when they bash into another shopper!
One of his less-savoury pastimes with the wheelchair is letting go on a slight slope, then grabbing hold of it before she's gone too far out of control.
Mind, he's not daft enough to do this too much – or he'd miss out on the treats from the second of my mam's latest fads.
She's always been one for money-off cards (especially on stuff she doesn't need).
So she decided to get a points cards at a well-known purveyor of beverages.
I think you have to spend about 100 to gain any benefit, but it's getting her out of the house.
So at least once a week, they're going to wherever the aforementioned coffee house has a franchise and spending a fortune on cappuccinos, cake, posh toasties and those vile frozen mocha things.
And once they've had their fill there, it's a simple task for them to con the old dear out of some cash for something they "desperately need".
For Nick at the moment, it's deodorant. Especially if it's got an Adidas label on it.
Last week, he came back with another anti-smellant gift pack (that's what my dad suspiciously used to call it).
Of course, poor old gran didn't know he's already got a stockpile of seven at home.
In Nick's logic, you spray yourself all over, become instantly attractive to girls, don't need to shower, and you have more time on PS3 – a win-win situation all round.
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Weather for Sunderland
Friday 10 February 2012
Today
Cloudy
Temperature: -3 C to 2 C
Wind Speed: 15 mph
Wind direction: South
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Temperature: 1 C to 3 C
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