"Er, mam, I've eaten my packed lunch already"
I received a panicky phone call at work the other day.
When you get a mobile phone call from school at 10.30am, you automatically assume something is wrong.
Naturally, it was Nick. Not that he ever tells me, of course. Every phone conversation starts with "errr, mam, blah, blah, blah...
Only he hadn't broken a leg, or even snapped a fingernail.
The reason for such an important hotline call?
"Er, mam, I've eaten my packed lunch already, can you send me another one? Or a bacon sandwich?"
The fact that I don't drive, was at work and he was at school 12 miles away had never even crossed his mind.
Obviously, I was going to be able leave work, go home, make a new packed lunch and get it to school.
That would have taken four buses and goodness knows how much time.
Or, of course, I could just have sent to with the power of my mind, which I think may have been the easy option.
I'm afraid my son had the phone put down on his idiocy.
One of my colleagues, who funnily enough also has a teenage son, suggested I text him a picture of a bacon sandwich, just to sharpen his hunger.
An excellent idea!
Hallowe'en, thankfully, is becoming less important to the kids. Vanessa doesn't bother at all any more and although Nick still wanted a lantern, he didn't want to go begging, sorry, trick or treating.
One concession he thought he'd made was to put eye make-up on like a zombie, put a fake knife with blood through his head and scare the little kids trick or treating.
So, with some of my Next black eye shadow on, he was all set.
The only problem was, we had one lot of callers… and unfortunately for Nick it was a group of girls from his class, who nearly collapsed with laughter when he opened the door.
Now they think he's a closet emo – but he did look a dead-ringer for Gerard Way (for the mams and dads out there, lead singer of My Chemical Romance).
I've never seen a zombie blush before – but I have now.
Ah well, Nick, just something you'll have to live it down, I suppose.
But to his lady callers, I can confirm that Nick does enjoy a spot of MCR and miming into a hairbrush on a Saturday night.
And he copied that night's make-up from his idols, John and Edward, on that night's X Factor.
That'll teach you for ringing me up at work asking for two lunches.
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Friday 10 February 2012
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