From Nick Griffin to Nazi zombies via puerile TV gameshow Hole in the Wall. It's got the lot
As a fan of Adolf Hitler's hilarious Pathe News rants, I'm all for fascists given airtime at the TV licence-payers expense.
Which is why I applaud the BBC for agreeing to let that little tinker Nick Griffin spice things up on Question Time.
But why stop there? Get little Nicky on Strictly Come Dancing, I hear he does a nifty goosestep and his doodlebug apparently went down a storm as the National Front disco.
Or what about an appearance on Hole in the Wall? Get him to squeeze through a swastika shaped hole, that'd be a laugh. Maybe Anton Du Beke has already sent out the invite.
An appearance on Total Wipeout was, I understand, ruled out by Griffo. Apparently he denied its existence.
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Nazis are a bit of a "biggy" in our house at the moment as it happens.
Biggy is the term our eight-year-old, Bradley, throws about with gay abandon (as is gay for that matter. He doesn't know what it means, but my wife threatens him with arrest every time he uses it.)
"You're the one making a biggy out it," he'll say or "It's no biggy." It's shorthand, in case you didn't guess, for big deal.
This Nazi biggy won't go away. These aren't ordinary Nazis though. No, they're zombie Nazis and they're on a computer screen near you now.
Our Bradley has been waging a one-man buy-me-a-computer-game war now for the last three months. The game he wants is called Call of Duty.
There are a number of versions of this game where, so I understand, you can play the part of a soldier in various conflicts from Vietnam to major battles across the globe, as seen in World War II.
The "biggy" in this case is the graphic nature of the violence. You shoot people, Nazis mainly, and by all accounts it looks very realistic. The wife ain't too happy.
The game carries a 15 certificate but, as Bradley is keen to point out, all his friends play and, of course, it's no biggy.
After three months my wife was beginning to be worn down. Her "no way" had been downgraded to a "we'll see." There were even suggestions that perhaps the game had some educational value. Perhaps it would be useful when discussing the war years in history.
In just the same way, I suspect, as Super Mario Kart gives you an insight to the automotive industry.
A confident Bradley was now on full Call of Duty mode. No day would go by without mention of the conflicts his pals had completed.
There's something a little surreal in hearing detailed accounts of the storming of a German bunker or taking of a heavily fortified bridge from an eight-year-old who still sleeps with a Teddy Bear.
But these and other tales of valour have never been far from his lips, nor the current availability of the game in Adsa stores.
"You can even see the trailers on YouTube," he proffered this week. And after much cajoling he persuaded my wife and I to watch one of the trailers on the computer so we could "understand" why it wasn't such a "biggy."
Now I studied GCE History covering World War II and I remember pretty much all the major battles, but I don't remember the vanquished Nazis rising from the dead.
But there, on the trailer they were, legions of the undead in their best Nazi bib and tucker shambling towards the screen with murder in their eyes, before being blasted to smithereens by Call of Duty footsoldiers.
"You just have to shoot their heads off," our Bradley told us gleefully. And with those words had effectively sealed his fate. There was no way his mother was going to buy him the game now.
Our Bradley had just committed what is commonly, and aptly in this case, known as a schoolboy error. And it was, indeed, a biggy.
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Print this page- Sunderland’s astonishing rise even surprising Martin O’Neill
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Friday 10 February 2012
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