Author

Richard Ord

Richard Ord: Apparently maths stands for Mental Abuse to Humans

Mental Abuse To Humans. It may sound like a new Channel 4 game show hosted by Rylan and a team of former Oxford professors armed with cattle prods, but it turns out to be one of the funnier texts I’ve received from my eldest son of late.

Opinion
Sir Winston Churchill.

Richard Ord: History just isn’t what it used to be

‘Those who fail to learn from history are condemned to repeat it.’

Opinion 2
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Richard Ord: Fox hunting – back by unpopular demand

A fox ran up our street last week. It barely glanced up as it trotted along the road, its bushy tail illuminated by the street lamps as it weaved in between the wheelie bins.

Opinion
Richard Ord: Why we need an animal-based grading structure for exams

Richard Ord: Why we need an animal-based grading structure for exams

If he sticks in with his exams, I really do think our eldest son could walk out with a herd of elephants.

Opinion
Richard Ord: He’s got bobbies and zombies on the brain

Richard Ord: He’s got bobbies and zombies on the brain

I see he’s been at it again. You know, that Corbyn bloke, and his mugwumpian tissue of whoppers.

Opinion
Did you tune in to Broadchurch? Picture: ITV PLC.

Richard Ord: Internet sites are spoiling for a fight

‘England F.’ It will mean little, if anything, to the under-50s, but ‘England F’ is the partial headline spotted by Terry in a classic episode of 70s sitcom The Likely Lads.

Opinion
Damien, the son of the devil,  is equally unimpressed with the standards of journalism in movies these days.

Richard Ord: Journalism is dead and buried... on TV

‘The Dead Walk!’ is a legendary front page headline that appears on a discarded newspaper in a scene from the zombie movie Day of the Dead.

Opinion
Richard Ord: “Nice to eat you, to eat you ... NICE!”

Richard Ord: “Nice to eat you, to eat you ... NICE!”

My wife texted me after a gruelling day at work to let me know how much she was looking forward to getting home, snuggling up on the sofa and “watching zombies getting their heads caved in.”

Opinion
Pupils have discovered which secondary school they will be attending

Begging bowl schooling will only widen gap between haves and have nots

No sooner have headteachers hit out at the feared funding crisis in schools than the begging bowl comes out.

Sunderland
Plastic bottle recycling, Coun Peter Wood

Politicians lack the bottle to introduce cashback recycling scheme in Sunderland

Will Sunderland City Council show some bottle and adopt an environmentally-friendly recycling scheme?

Sunderland
Isaac back from skiing

Richard Ord: Smells like teen spirit, or their underpants!

“If you could travel back in time and be any age you wanted,” my 16-year-old son asked, “what age would you choose?”

Opinion 1
Millionaire journalist Jeremy Clarkson. Less oxy, moron.

Richard Ord: The friendly ‘modified’ face of newspapers

Considering a career in journalism? Well I’m the go-to man.

Opinion 1
Former Top Gear host Jeremy Clarkson.

Richard Ord: The friendly ‘modified’ face of newspapers

Considering a career in journalism? Well I’m the go-to man.

Opinion 1
Hellraiser

RICHARD ORD: Hellraiser school of horror and beauty

Son two, the smaller blond one, (his name escapes me sometimes) will be broadening his horizons this month with a skiing trip to Italy.

Opinion
Richards Game of Life carrot mobile, pictured left, with foil spoiler.

RICHARD ORD: I’ve a dream, a silver dream veg machine

Am I the only man whose blood runs cold when his wife pipes up: “Let’s play a family board game?”

Opinion 1
Right on? Civil partnership campaigners have their day in court.

RICHARD ORD: Dog dirt delivers another fine mess

Anyone who tells you throwing money at a problem is not the answer to a problem, obviously hasn’t had kids.

Opinion 1
RICHARD ORD: Love is...never having to say ‘how much?’

RICHARD ORD: Love is...never having to say ‘how much?’

Love is … a tacit agreement not to ‘waste’ money on Valentine’s Day gifts or cards.

Opinion
So sue me! An embarrassing photo of Isaac from the archives.

RICHARD ORD: Fight for the right to embarrass offspring

Our Isaac, 13, was sitting in the front room with his pal Henry watching TV. Perfect, I thought, his guard is down.

Opinion
Sunderland players (left to right) Darron Gibson, John O'Shea, Bryan Oviedo and Joleon Lescott. Picture by FRANK REID

A face to face dressing down from a fan didn’t do Kevin Ball any harm - Sunderland’s players could do with more of the same

When Kevin Ball first arrived in Sunderland he was, he is fond of retelling, given a dressing down on his performance from an irate fan in a Chinese takeaway.

Sunderland 2
James Dean

RICHARD ORD: Rebel without a pair of sensible trousers

I noticed my son heading off to school in a pair of unflattering shorts the other day.

Opinion
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